Warp, Weft & Wired was the title of an email I received the other day from Britex Fabric in San Francisco (it’s my favorite place to buy material). It made me laugh in that I feel as though I’m a little warped and wired from the fabric that is my life as of late. Life can get hectic even for those of us who are the most disciplined at managing all that life has to offer on a daily basis. I’m currently single with no children (wait my dogs Sam & Harper count as children as they talk back), but I wonder how wives and mothers do it every day, day-in and day-out?
Motherhood is a topic that has been a hot button for me for the last few years. And with my grandmothers passing in January, it became glaringly clear to me this was a void in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great life in that I get to travel at a moment¬â„¢s notice, have a great job, lovely friends and overall a very fulfilling life. But being a mother is something I’ve wanted for years.
With Celiac Disease, many suffer from infertility and I’ve not been immune to that part of the disease. Plus father time has come a knocking as I approach 43 later this year. Two years ago, I had surgery to remove scar tissue that had pinned my right ovary behind my uterus. Doctor thinks it was from the abdominal trauma from the repeated car accidents. At that point in time, my doctor was like “little lady you better get with it if you want to get pregnant” (yes my doctor was calling me old, or at least is sure felt that way). Not for lack of trying, but end result was not being able to get pregnant (and I plead the fifth on the guy I was dating at the time – not man bashing just not father material regardless of his “let¬â„¢s have a baby together” idea).
I’m not opposed to adoption, in fact it’s a very appealing idea and I find the thought of giving a child a safe, stable environment and good life heart-warming. Financially it can be very cost prohibitive, but I also don’t want to give up hope. One of my co-workers just adopted a little girl from Ethiopia and she is just adorable. I also get to enjoy and am grateful for my friend¬â„¢s children and the times I get to spend with them. Plus like 3 of my girlfriends are pregnant and two have just given birth in the last few months, so that’s been enjoyable to experience (you gotta take it where you can get it). Another option if all else fails is volunteering my time with children’s charities.
I’m not sure where this road is going to take me, but it is most certainly a struggle internally. It makes one feel as though there is something the matter with you, that your body is failing at one of life’s great joys. It has left me feeling less than as a woman. Celiac Disease is nasty that way and when criticism comes your way that Celiac Disease or eating gluten-free is simply just a fad, I want to say “tell that to my uterus” – as kindly as I can.
Have you struggled with fertility and have Celiac Disease? Ladies & Gent’s – Would love to hear about your journey with fertility and Celiac Disease and how you managed to move forward – What was your final outcome?
Photo Credit: Armin Hanisch